My Testimony

I can’t say that I gave God much thought before I became a true Christian but since I made the choice to follow, I’ve never really had to give much thought into anything other than him.

As a young schoolboy, I would be constantly dragged along to church every Sunday morning, with the homemade jumpers and the itchy trousers my Grandma would make for me every Christmas and Birthday.
Over the years I made my first Holy Communion, became an Altar Server, got confirmed but by the time of getting into Yr 5 I decided my bed was much better on a Sunday morning rather than listening to a guy, who I didn’t have any interest in listening to.

A few years had passed, I had left school and made new friends at college. For many Christians, college is a time where they’ve stepped in with the wrong crowd, maybe done things they shouldn’t have. In my case, this is completely the other way round. My friends were Christians; at first I didn’t know it.

We would spend time outside of college shopping, cinema, chilling out, eating out and generally chatting. One evening church was brought up in a convo and it was mentioned that they went to church and spent time with their youth group every Friday evening. At first I wasn’t very interested, as the youth group at my church would be kids from schools causing trouble, fighting over play stations and who had put their name down first for the snooker tables. Over the weeks and months I remember continuing to be told about the church and their youth group, then the dreaded question came… “Why don’t you come along on Friday night?” I had spent all those years trying to get out of going to church with my Mum, begging and pleading and now I could feel it happening all over again.
For months and months I made the excuses, told them no thanks, wasn’t for me, staying in to watch a movie, however that all changed one Friday evening. I had nothing planned and nothing to do. What excuse did I have… None!

Christmas 2002
We set off to church, I think we may have even walked. I must have been nervous and had all these ideas of what the church would be like, what type of youth group I would be meeting. Although I can talk the legs off a donkey, I am very nervous and generally keep myself to myself when I meet new people.

I was very surprised when I arrived at the church building. I remember it looking warm and brand new. In fact the only reason I would have known it was a church was because of the cross on the top of the building. Everyone was friendly and welcoming. Due to my early experiences with the church, I had always thought it was a quiet, cold, boring place with relevance for young people only between the ages of 3 – 7.

My Church - Stockton Baptist Tabernacle

At this time everyone was like one big family, I know it sounds cheesy, but that was how it felt.
Over the months we would all go out walking, cinema, pizza and games nights in the upper hall of the church.
I particularly made good friends with a young fella called Neil who had been going to the church since he was born. Over the coming months of going to the church, I found myself getting involved with more church activities, such as entering in a rowing boat race on the River Tees and helping to provide ‘Sound’ for the services on Sunday evening. Neil and I would do that together.

I was very surprised when I started going to the services as there were a lot of young people. The greatest thing about it all was that they actually enjoyed going to the services and were happy to sit and listen. Most of them had bibles aswell!

Vanessa & Laura. 2 members of church youth.


At this stage of my life I still wasn’t a Christian and still didn’t believe. During the Friday youth meetings, people would pray but it was something I never joined in with. I had decided that I could still come along, join in the activities but no one needed to know that I didn’t believe… I mean I couldn’t believe, I tried before at my old church, but nothing happened, so why would it happen now?
Over the weeks & months of attending I could feel myself missing out on things. As I kept going I could see that people had something in their lives that I didn’t have. God. It didn’t really bother me before, but now I think it was. I decided to put it at the back of my mind and try to forget about it.


The evening of May 5th 2003 would change my life forever. The day I became a Christian!
I had a really rough week at college. I had fallen out with my mates (the ones who had brought me to church) because I had let them down. I had done some unforgivable and stupid things to them.
I was very upset as I did not have many friends at school, these friends had been the best, had looked after me. I had let them down and the general feeling was that none of them wanted anything to do with me anymore.
On the Friday evening, I had came along to my church youth group for a ‘Open Worship Evening’
A full 2 hours of worship, prayer and testimonies from the members of the youth. Worship allows Christians to praise and get close to God.

I remember been really upset, tears weren’t streaming or anything like that but inside I felt the lowest I’d ever felt, knowing I’d lost my friends.
I decided to join in with the worship evening but decided that I would never be coming back to the Tab. No-one had my number apart from the friends I had let down so no-one would be able to contact me.

I continued to do the worship stuff… when I closed my eyes and tried to pray I felt some weird stuff happening inside me. At this time I put it down to all the upset.

After the evening had finished I was ready to leave, however I decided to go and talk to the pastor, to let him know what was going on and what I had done. He wasn’t around so I asked the youth leader at the time if I could have a word.

We went into a smaller room. By this time I had started to cry. I was completely truthful with him, telling him that I felt rubbish and explaining to him that I had messed up with my friends and was a bit upset.

I don’t know if it was because I was upset, not thinking about what I was saying or if it was what I was the feeling in my heart but out of nowhere the words “Why can’t I just have God in my life?” came out of my mouth.
WOW – What was that all about?

The youth leader explained that God loves me. I explained that I had gone to church before and tried to find God but nothing ever happened.
Mark (youth leader) prayed with me and asked Jesus to come into my life. We talked a little more and then went home.

The next day I woke up and I really felt different. I felt peaceful, like someone else had taken my problems. Usually when I thought about my friends, my heart would skip a few beats because I knew I let them down, but on this occasion, nothing! – I knew that Jesus was sorting it. – Becoming a Christian was the best thing I had ever done.
I felt completely at ease as if I could speak to anyone about Jesus. I know some people who are all against Jesus would say “Its just physiological” But I knew it wasn’t. I could feel it.

Jesus has opened a whole load of doors for me. Most of them I would never have experienced if I had left or not even bothered with Jesus or the church.

A Christian isn’t as bad as you think. Some people think you’ve got to completely change your life style, wear sandals, have bad taste in music or can’t even have drink.
Jesus will only change the things he knows are bad for you. I was frightened that I would lose things I most treasured. But the things I no longer have in my life are the things I didn’t really need anyway.


Some of my friends: Sharon Toop, Meg Buckell (Girlfriend) & Sarah Toop at Make Poverty History





If you feel that there is something missing in your life, a gap that you’ve tried to fill, may be through drink, friends, love, money and it’s still there – why not try Jesus? – What do you have to loose?
Open your heart to Jesus, lay down everything and completely trust.

Over the years my Christian faith has been like a bumpy road. Sometimes I’ve found myself coming off that road. Anyone who says that believing and following Jesus is easy is wrong, but one thing that it definitely is... Is the best thing you could ever do!



Richard Lee
4th August 2005